Seriously

Sam Summers was sitting at home with his penis wrapped in an internet-connected chastity cage when he got a weird message on the app that connects to the device. Someone told him they had taken control and they wanted around $1,000 in Bitcoin to give control back to Summers.

Quoth the victim, “There’s no manual override at all. It’s a chastity belt, I guess it kind of shouldn’t [have an override.] But when it’s a digital thing like that, it should have a key or something. But it obviously didn’t.“

He paid up, but they still didn’t let him loose.

Afterward, he escaped the hackers by, well, hacking his way out of the situation. With bolt cutters. Right next to his junk. And not without some consequence. “I don’t have a scar or anything but I was bleeding and it fucking hurt.”

Who knows if this story is real, but in this day and age I wouldn’t doubt it.