Years ago I worked with a girl I really liked. A lot of things happened (and yet Nothing Happened), but that’s a story for another post. After a couple months of spending all our time together and yet not so much as shaking hands, she got with an utterly useless guy. A guy that, not too long before, she had told me about his history of drinking, substance abuse, and violence. Ok, fine, whatever. Her life, her choice.
Not too long after that, she showed me (I prefer to think she wasn’t waving it in my face) her engagement ring. I asked her when the wedding was. She said they weren’t planning a wedding. I asked why not. She said it was a promise. This went round and round for a minute or two. I asked what the hell is an engagement ring a promise of if you’re not planning to marry? No real answer to that, just more vague waffling.
I had gotten used to this type of unlogic from her by now, so I let it drop.
This came soon after another twisted dating misadventure (tip for girls – if you go out with a guy a few times and like him, don’t let his moonstruck friend hang all over you at a party until you show up and then say “but I like you better.” He won’t believe you). These two incidents so close together were probably my first up-close, unflinching gaze into the hamster den, where anything goes as long as it keeps going without a second look.